AORTA Running Dictionary
This page is a compilation of AORTA related or inspired vocabulary words garnered from hundreds of miles running together with felllow club members. For runners new to AORTA, the local lexicon tends to be a bit confusing. We hope this will help to enlighten and enrich the vocabulary of the neophyte AORTA-ian.
yosting (n): the act of running at a pace well below one’s potential due to lack of motivation, temporary lameness, or just plain laziness when faced with a route that appears to be moderately challenging in length or elevation change; also, to completely opt out of a training run for no particular reason.
Runsies (n.): A dreaded condition most common in long-distance runners, characterized by an urgent need to explosively evacuate the lower gastrointestinal tract and caused by physical jostling of the organs, decreased blood flow to the intestines, changes in intestinal hormone secretion and pre-race anxiety and stress.
Runsie (n.): Recently introduced by the Canadian technical athletic clothing manufacturer, Lululemon, the Runsie is a lightweight, breathable, one-piece, uni-sex running suit featuring sweat wicking materials, hand pockets, a secure zippered pocket, adjustable shoulder straps, and a secret liner for keys. This is sure to be a hit with AORTA members, male and female! Check out Runners World’s recent review here.
Fartlek (n.): Derived from the Swedish “speed play”, fartlek is a training technique, normally used by runners, which consists of continuous bursts of intense effort loosely alternating with less strenuous activity. The variable intensity and continuous nature of the exercise places stress on both the aerobic and anaerobic systems.
Fartlet (n.): Originating from the gastrointenstinal tract, fartlets consist of continuous bursts of gas from the digestive tract with well controlled contractions of the sphincter muscles which permit only small quantities of the offending odor, which, in their entirety compares to the volume of a regular fart. When conducted in a confined space, one can release a series of fartlets that achieve the same rank effect as a whole fart. However when released in the open air, especially while running in a group, the release of fartlets can be completed in a discreet and rarely noticeable manner.
Sports Bra (n.): a bra that provides additional support to female breasts during physical exercise. Sturdier than typical bras, they minimize breast movement, alleviate discomfort, and reduce potential damage to chest ligaments. Many women wear sports bras to reduce pain, and physical discomfort caused by breast movement during exercise. Some sports bras are designed to be worn as outerwear during exercise such as jogging. Larger breasted women may be prevented from taking part in sports or exercise when their breasts move excessively.
Sports Bro* (n.): The “Sports Bro” from GPSports is not designed to keep pecs in place. Instead, it is meant to keep a high-tech athlete-monitoring device in place. “The vest holds a small player tracking unit that’s worn really tight under the jersey to quantify the demands of the game, and that data is used as a benchmark for training and to dictate recovery protocols,” The tracking device used to be worn as a harness, “but the straps irritated athletes under the armpit and caused chaffing, so the new design of the compression vest (aka Sports Bro) is much more comfortable.”* Yes, this is a real product!
Marathon: (n) A popular form of self-imposed, overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it’s time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent sleeping in and/or consuming large quantities of beer and doughnuts.
See also: masochism, awfulness, nipple-chafing, doughnut deprivation therapy
Tweak (v.): 1) To injure (a part of your body) slightly, twist or pull (something) sharply such as when starting out too fast and running the risk of pulling a muscle, tweaking a tendon, bone or joint. 2) Improve (a mechanism or system) by making fine adjustments to it as in “4 simple tweaks you can make to your training to make you a better runner”.
Twerk (v): A dance, usually done by a female, to music in a sexually provocative manner involving thrusting hip movements and a low squatting stance. Though uncertain in origin, common assumptions suggest it to be a contraction of “footwork” and a portmanteau of the words “twist” and “jerk”. The Oxford Dictionary claims the word has been around for 20 years. It was a runner-up in the 2013 Word of the Year.
Spoiler Alert (n:): (in a discussion or review of a film, book, television drama, etc.) a warning that an important detail of the plot development is about to be revealed. Ex: "the third season ended (spoiler alert if you don't want to know) with the intervention of a ‘lady in red’”
Soiler Alert (n:): a dire warning that emanates from the gastro-intestinal system that indicates to the runner that an explosive expulsion of an often watery mixture of stool accompanied by excessive bowel gas is imminent. (also, see September 28, 2015 entry of diarunning).
dreadmill (n:): The conveyor belt to nowhere that one has to walk or run upon to keep their body in shape, or in times of neglect becomes a place for clutter collection… Damn, I have to get off the computer now and walk on the cursed dreadmill…
Pee-Shorts (n.): An affliction caused by urinary incontinence more common in women than men resulting in leaking urine while running. The discharge is typically just a trickle but in more extreme cases may become a stream.
Blipples (n.): Contraction of the words bloody and nipples. A condiiton caused by excessive friction between the nipples and shirt. Commonly suffered by men since women generally run with tight-fitting sports bras.
Snot Rocket (n.): Expelling a jet of mucus by blocking one nostril with a finger and blowing snot from the other nostril in a graceful and classy way mid-run while (hopefully) avoiding nearby runners and/or spectators. Dangerous when executed within a tight formation such as during the start of a large race. Also called “farmer’s blow.”
Diarrunning (n.): Often termed “runner’s trots” or “the gingerbread man”, diarunning is a condition that often affects distance runners and is characterized by an urgent need for a bowel movement at the most inopportune time, mainly mid-run when one is miles away from the nearest bathroom. Pre-cursor symptoms include cramping and/or increased flatulence (see fartlets above) followed by an explosive expulsion of an often watery mixture of stool accompanied by excessive bowel gas.
pitypace (n): a slower pace set by faster runners to either support or mock slower running friends.
Ex: “Nate was keeping a pitypace for Mike and Keven this morning.”
Bathmophobia (n.): No, this is not a fear of bathtubs or showers! Bathmophobia refers to a type of anxiety disorder caused by simply observing a steep slope or stairs. This is differentiated from climacophobia which causes anxiety when experiencing anxiety when one is expected to actually climb or descend a set of stairs.
Pooplexed (adj) A state of indecision experienced by an athlete concerning whether or not to make one more trip to the port-a-john before a race starts: After a third cup of coffee, and only moments before the starter’s pistol would sound, Amanda found herself quite pooplexed.
ignoy (v.): to annoy someone by ignoring him or her. Keven talks so much during our Saturday runs that we’ve tried everything including ignoying him.
inarticulable (adj.): not able to be articulated. It’s inarticulable the pain we all must suffer when running with Keven.
crumpy (adj.): cranky and grumpy. Rachel was quite crumpy this morning due to the sub-zero temperatures.
Racheled (v.): a directed, vice general, f-bomb aimed at a specific person, action, or object. We tried to ignoy Keven, but nothing worked until we Racheled him multiple times.
